How Do You Spend Time with Loved Ones?
In support of a Girl Scout fundraiser, I recently took on a subscription to Travel + Leisure magazine, just before I learned of my dog’s diabetes diagnosis, which has quashed all of my travel planning for the foreseeable future. However, I suspect I am not T + L’s target audience, anyway, as I tend to be more of a budget traveler. Nevertheless, I am enjoying the magazine, daydreaming about how I could be traveling if I had unlimited time and money, and I am learning a thing or two through the articles (growth, autonomy).
The Dec. 2025/Jan. 2026 issue features an interview with Brazilian pop star Anitta, who says:
Brazil is a country where people know how to be together…. For example, today, some friends came over from São Paulo to my house in Rio. To do what? Nothing. Just to see me. We were just hanging out at home. Outside of Brazil, there has to be a dinner party or you have to schedule lunch. People don't get together to do nothing, whereas in Brazil we just like to enjoy each other's company.
I feel like this is a massive generalization that could depend largely on the people you know and the depths of your relationships because I can think of a lot of friends and family who like to sit around doing nothing but hanging out here in the United States. But I will say I am the person who likes to be doing something if I’m meeting with friends or family.
As I was reading Anitta’s opinion I was reflecting back to the Thanksgiving holiday a couple of weeks ago. On Thanksgiving Day we went to visit my in-laws, and for the most part, all we did was sit around chatting and watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade. When the kids grew bored, they’d get up and start playing with their toys, and then they’d wander back over to watch more of the parade.
As we were leaving, my mother-in-law said, “We don’t really have any plans for tomorrow.” I felt a wave of relief, and I jumped in with an offer to take the kids out for bowling the next day since she and her husband were watching my niece and nephew while their daughter was at work. They had the kids all week. This felt like a win for everyone: the grandparents were getting a break from babysitting duties, the kids had the chance to do something a little out of the ordinary, and Mr. Transportation, Pumpkin, and I were getting quality time with the niece and nephew/cousins while I worked on my bowling game (social, physiological, growth, bowling better than expected—esteem).
I tend to get antsy if I’m sitting around for too long. Viewing the world through the lens of the Right Hand of Long-Term Happiness, I am always strategizing how to maximize my time so that I’m hitting as many needs as possible with my activities. We did have a lot of fun on our bowling excursion, but reflecting back on that long weekend with Anitta’s words in mind, I do have to admit that the time hanging out with my in-laws at their home on Thanksgiving morning was equally special. Perhaps the bonds with loved ones develop a little more strongly with that downtime (social). Certainly, the feeling of being around people we know and love in a place we know and love helps with our safety needs, which could also be a physiological boon if the feel-good hormones and rest are counteracting the degradation of chronic stress. Though the tidbits were fewer and farther between, I may have also learned a thing or two about pop culture from the parade (I was introduced to Matteo Bocelli and Conan Gray, to start) and about my in-laws and their families through our chats (growth, social).
Thus, this productivity-driven writer would do well to remember that time with loved ones can be just as valuable when we are simply hanging out as when we are sharing an adventure together. What about you? How do you prefer to spend time with your people— doing or being? Let me know in the comments.