Without a Voice

Last weekend I lost my voice. We were visiting my parents to celebrate my dad’s 70th birthday. Many writers are introverted and prefer to do their communicating via the written word. That is not me. While it’s true that if I’m negotiating or making a case, my arguments are more coherent if I have time to write them down and organize them, in general I identify as a talker in a family of talkers. Mr. Transportation is a talker, and Pumpkin is a talker. My mom, my brother, my sister-in-law, my niece, my nephew… all talkers! (The only person who is not much of a talker, dear man, is Dad. But who knows? Maybe he is one at heart but is simply drowned out by everyone else talking around him.)

It was excruciating to be hanging out with family and not be able to be a part of the conversation. My mom immediately lamented my situation, but I croaked/whispered to my mom that all was well because I still had great listening ears. However, turns out no one wanted to talk to me if I couldn’t respond in kind. At the celebratory dinner, I was relegated to the end of the table, past the kids. So lonely! (social)

The manager of the restaurant where we celebrated stopped by to chat with the table. All of the kids, but especially my nephew, age 4, were happy to talk to the manager, telling him everything about the weekend and our family. I wanted to joke with the manager that the kids could keep him busy all night with their stories. This joke and many others that came to mind over the course of the weekend went unspoken and unappreciated (esteem).

Thankfully the loss of my voice was temporary. When a voice is silenced, it is usually the result of a physiological problem. Patients who suffer a brain injury, such as a stroke, and lose the ability to talk more permanently also struggle with being able to communicate their preferences (autonomy). Furthermore, the isolation and lack of autonomy can lead to an acute stress response (safety). 

One of the most impactful books I’ve read is Dalton Trumbo’s Johnny Got His Gun. Trumbo tells the story of a soldier who is badly injured in war and not only loses all of his limbs but also the ability to see, speak, or hear. The book stands as a classic of anti-war messaging, but what stayed with me is how strong the human drive is to communicate with those around us. If you should lose your voice for a prolonged period, I hope you can find alternative paths of communication, such as Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) tools.

Have you recently lost your voice? How was the experience for you? What lessons did you take away from it? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.